Bone tired. I have felt “bone tired” at times. Have you? It’s weary deep below the surface, tired down to the bone. You could also call it fatigued, exhausted, long overdue for a day off, really needing a vacation. These are ways that people describe tiredness that is more than one day’s worth of weary. Lactose built up in the muscles, discouragement built up in the spirit, no inspiration to go on.
Maybe you are so intense you can’t take time to take care of your body. You need to get that tooth looked at, to check out that questionable place on your skin, or rebuild stamina that seems to be lost. And in place of your once fit body is an overweight one with weak muscles. Other people’s needs get your attention, but there’s no time for yours.
Have you heard the term “deferred maintenance?” What does deferred maintenance look like to you? A car with rust spots and loud engine? Industrial machinery on a factory floor ground to a halt, producing nothing? A house with broken siding, poor fitting windows, leaking roof? When things are broken, or well on their way to breaking, the deferred or delayed maintenance is obvious. And what is maintenance? It is unglamourous work that doesn’t even seem necessary. Fixing things before they break is one way to describe it. On a car it’s oil changes, tune ups, rotating or buying new tires. On a house it’s paint and little repairs outside or in. At a factory its checking, oiling, replacing parts on machinery which run for hours on end to produce profits.
Ongoing maintenance doesn’t seem necessary at the time but pays dividends later when what you relied on keeps working. When you perform ongoing maintenance, you learn actions to take that you trust will keep things working.
You can picture deferred maintenance in things. But how about in you? Don’t you have some personal deferred maintenance? People show deferred maintenance when mental and physical fatigue show up. Deferred maintenance shows when everyday stresses land like catastrophes, because you’re mostly spent before you start. When you don’t have adequate emotional or physical energy, the smallest thing can drain you past normal operating strength. You need resources and margin to spend as needed but you don’t have it. If you start out in your car on a long trip but only have enough fuel for a trip next door, you will run out of car before you reach your destination. It can’t get you where you want to go. People are kind of like that. The old slogans say it: burning a candle at both ends, a day late and a dollar short, he had champagne taste but a beer pocketbook, her eyes were bigger than her stomach.
Looking forward is required. And you start that by honestly looking in yourself right now. Are you running on empty? Do you barely have any margin to get by, so the least obstacle can bring you to a stop? We do best to fuel up the car before a long trip, and we do best to rest and refresh ourselves so we can manage the slings and arrows of daily life. Maintained you can go all day and perform. Maintained you can manage the rude coworker or family member and not act badly in return. Maintained, you can hear upsetting news and not be scared or feel despair all day.
Will you perform maintenance on yourself? Isn’t that selfish? Isn’t it too much trouble? Can’t you just do that later? I’ve met middle aged people who lived busy lives and suddenly had a heart attack. Everybody has unique heart stories, but some ongoing maintenance can prevent disasters. Enough sleep, a healthy diet, and regular exercise is good ongoing maintenance that prevents heart attacks and enables a happy, productive life. Don’t do what I heard once, “when she retired, she sat down, and she never got up.” Also, don’t assume scrolling on your phone, having a drink, or binge-watching TV is maintaining yourself. It is distraction. At its best it just changes the subject but at its worst it adds to stress.
Heard this before? I challenge you to dig deep into your wants and desires and find out what you really need. What do you really want? Some of us are so focused on others we don’t even allow ourselves to consider what we want. Can you give yourself permission to take the time, energy and money required to get what you need and want? Waiting won’t get it done. No one else knows you as well as you do (if you are honest with yourself.) It will be good for you, for your family, and for the world if you don’t defer the maintenance, if you take care of yourself.
Try this. Take a few moments to relax and think. Have some paper and pen ready. Take a few slow breaths and let your body relax. Notice what muscles are tense and relax them. You may have thoughts of “this is silly” or “this is selfish” come to mind. Ignore them. It isn’t silly, it is lifesaving. And you are not just doing this for yourself, you are doing this for anyone you love because your best maintained self is kinder, more thoughtful, more loving than yourself that is cranky and overwhelmed. Ask yourself, what would I like in my life now? Don’t edit out the ideas that seem unrealistic or selfish. You can sort them later. Do you need more time to yourself? Do you need to take time to exercise? Do you need to do as the Bible commands, “Be still”? Our spiritual lives suffer too when we fail to maintain our bodies and souls. “Be still and know I am God” is a command and promise. Being still offers knowledge of our place in the universe, not at the top, but not at the bottom because we are dearly loved and of great value.
Make your list. Set it aside and tomorrow sort it out. Notice the things you can do quickly at the top of the list. And start doing them. Don’t throw out any items because the outlandish wishes might actually be done in the future, or sometimes they show us desires we have that can be met another way. For example, a dream of a month long around the world vacation points to a desire to get away. That desire could be partially met by a much shorter, more affordable trip. Consider or pray about what you should do first and how. Allow your care of yourself to be as high a quality that you would do for anyone else you dearly love. Stop deferring your maintenance. There is life to be lived, and you will do it best when well maintained.
