Distracted Away from Real Life

The very word "distraction" indicates being taken away from something and led into something less important. When life distracts us, we lose focus on what we thought we wanted to be doing. We are captured by some seductive idea or passtime that sucks up time and attention. 
That's normal, but not a good thing. This episode explores distraction and what you should do about it!

Transcript

I try to think in practical ways about how to apply faith and healthy practices to life. And I’ve spent several decades observing myself, my clients and others. In the process I have come to believe that being in the present is better than spending life in the future or the past. But we do spend so much time rehashing yesterday and anticipating the future. We do this whether the past was good or bad, whether the future we anticipate will be pleasant or difficult. 

Because we have wonderful complex minds, we can easily be one place physically but off somewhere else mentally. I’m here with you, but my mind leaves and goes to the next thing I need to do, like getting lunch at a restaurant. Or I might think to last night recalling some project I was working on. While I am speaking you will likely fly away to your work or home and remember something you did, or plan something that is coming up. It just happens. The body is confined to one place at a time and takes much effort to move, however, the mind can leave in a millisecond and jump from place to place, over and over again, backwards and forwards in time. 

Are you Okay with that? If you are entertained by jumping from thought to thought, from emotion to emotion, then you won’t feel the need to do anything about it. But I’m here to tell you there are great benefits from being more aware of now, and there are costs to pay by letting your mind wander in an undisciplined way. You can choose to focus. 

The first step toward change is to recognize and admit it. Your mind wanders off; the next step is to try to do something different. I mean notice when your mind has wandered off and bring it back. Remember the time your child or spouse was sitting in front of you, but their face told you they hadn’t heard what you just said. You probably didn’t like that. Or if you have been the one whose mind wandered off while someone was telling you something, you know they didn’t like it. It gets us in hot water when a loved one feels we are not paying attention.

Giving in to distraction and indulging in discontent are the cause of every bad human behavior. That’s a bold statement; but I believe all human stumbling can be tied to these two things. Both take our eyes off what is real in life. In their worst cases, distractions lead to addictions, discontent leads to despair. 

Honesty and acceptance are the opposite of distraction and discontent. To be honest with yourself and with others requires looking at your actual circumstances with clarity. If you can clearly see and accept what is happening to you (and your responses to it) your life is better in many ways. 

When I see and accept reality, then I have a chance to respond in an effective way. I can change it for the better (if it’s bad) or embrace it (if it’s good). When I am in a hailstorm and I admit it is real hail falling and I consider the possible damage hail can cause to me, I can act to get out of the hail. If I won’t look at the hail or I see it but deny its potential cost to me, I will suffer the consequences. Or let’s say after days of rain, the sun comes out and the weather is pleasant. If I don’t open the blinds to see the sun or I see it but don’t go outside, I miss the benefit that can be had by being outdoors in the sunshine like good feelings and vitamin D.

When life is tough, and an interesting distraction comes along, we jump on it because we don’t want to think about the hard stuff. Distraction comes from innocent and from dangerous sources; it can be watching one more TV show, to having one more shot of alcohol. A common distraction is our phones. They are designed to grab our attention in many ways. I know that many times I have picked up my phone for one reason, then got sidelined for several minutes doing something else altogether. I have to close it up and put it down to remember what I intended to do in the first place. It’s like walking into a room and forgetting what you went there for. And you know there are other distractions that work on you and you give in; it’s a natural but unhelpful pattern humans have. We get distracted whenever we lose focus. And losing focus is easy. We can’t be 100% focused or always in the present, but we can commit to keep trying. 

To not face reality has another name, denial. Denial is easier when we keep ourselves distracted. I can pretend there is no problem if I don’t look in the direction of the problem. 

What a shame it is to go through life distracted or discontented so that we don’t experience it. -  - Imagine a sunny beach. You are there sitting facing the ocean. The waves come in and out, smoothing the sand, washing in some shells. You can sit there with music or a book and not notice the waves, but only your book or music. You can decide that it is too windy, too cloudy, too sunny, or too hot. Sand gets in your feet or clothes and that can bother. Or, despite it being imperfect you can have a first-hand experience: hearing the sounds of the waves, the brief quiet between waves, then the next wave coming in. You can touch the sand and items that wash up with your hands or feet. You can smell the salty fragrances of the ocean. It can be an experience to take in and savor.

Notice the space where you are for a moment. See the shades of colors. Is light coming in the windows? It is this temperature. Would you like it to be a different color? Would you like it to be warmer or cooler? Do you prefer the air to be moving or still? Would you rather that you were gathered together with others? Would you rather be alone with more space around you? How about the smell? Is it pleasing to you, unpleasant, or did you even notice?

Is where you are sitting comfortable or not so much? Do you feel noticeable aches and pains? Do you feel safe? Is this place reasonably safe for you right now? 

This is a place and time for spiritual reflection and learning. We often think of this as just the ethereal spiritual matters, not the practical. In the Bible, Jesus says, “Love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.”  This includes our emotions, will, intellect, and body. Old preachers used to say, “he’s so heavenly minded he’s no earthly good.” It doesn’t have to be a choice of one or the other. The command is to love God with our whole selves, including our bodies. The body is where we connect with this world and experience it. We smell it, taste it, touch it, see it and hear it. And that is the richness of life we have been given. 

Let’s work together to live in the present moment.