Afraid? Try this!

It seems there are a lot of voices saying, “be afraid, be very afraid.” There are scary things happening in the world and in our lives. 
What is the way to respond to fear? We can give in to fear, then it seems to grow larger. We can ignore fear and maybe get ourselves hurt. 
Check out this episode for tips on managing what you find scary!

Transcript

It seems there are a lot of voices saying, “be afraid, be very afraid.” There are scary things happening in the world and in our lives. Diseases, random shootings, and accidents pose real threats, and we wonder if we are in danger ourselves. 

On top of that, a basic tool of marketing is to make you afraid of something, then offer some product that will resolve your fears. Afraid of aging? This wrinkle cream or this shiny car will make you young again. Afraid of cavities? Buy this toothpaste or flosser and it will prevent more cavities. Afraid of foreign countries or inflation? Vote for our candidate who will solve all those problems. Afraid of poor health? Buy these life enhancing supplements or go to these specialist doctors…

When you are afraid what do you do? Do you get the jitters? Do you ask for a hug? Do you pace and fret? Do you hide in your home? Some people get stomach pains, body aches, or feel like they will jump out of their skin. Some buy guns, alarm systems, or survival supplies. Fear often makes us identify an enemy that if only the enemy would change or be eliminated, everything would be alright. 

You certainly realize that there are always groups in society that benefit if they can scare everybody else. One shyster from years ago said, “there’s a sucker born every minute.” This is not to say there aren’t real threats in the world, but many of our fears are based on what somebody in media, politics, or elsewhere has told us we should be afraid of. 

Have you ever been to one of those carnival rides where you walk through a space where the floor is shifting? One part is rolling forward, another part is sliding away another direction. Life can feel like that at times; it’s hard to get your footing. It seems, that through no fault of your own, the ground under you is bouncing around as if an earthquake was happening. Where should you step? What is the best direction to go? 

Jesus’ disciple Peter had a similar experience. He saw Jesus walking on water toward the boat with all the disciples. Peter was the only one brash enough to ask if he could walk on water too. Jesus says, “come on,” and Peter starts out well. But then he looks at the waves and starts to sink. 

You don’t have to believe this story to see the lessons here. Peter is looking at Jesus when he walks successfully on the water. His focus is on who he believes helps him walk safely. He is looking at his best intention, at the power source. But when he looks at the waves, he sees the threat, they can take him down, and they begin to. His focus is on the problem, not the solution. 

It reminds me of the old parenting saying, “you get more of what you pay attention to.” Some parents only engage when their children act badly. So, kids act up more to get attention, even negative attention. But parents who notice and praise good behavior in their kids get more of it. 

It is easier said than done but trust is the key. Trust in God, trust that you can do it. In parenting, trust in your child. But when trust drops away, fear takes its place. Fear only sees the threat, not the strength. It sees problems to be solved, not solutions.  

Expectations seem to have a power of their own, when we expect things to go wrong, they often do; when we expect that we can work our way through something, we often do. Not every time of course, we are not magicians. But believing you can do something often results in success. The opposite is clear, when you don’t think you can succeed, you won’t. 

Get quiet and relaxed for a moment. Settle yourself as much as you can and close your eyes if it is safe to do so. Now let whatever frightens you these days come to mind. It is probably more than one thing but maybe one in particular rises to the front of your attention. For some fears we are disturbed but quickly respond mentally with reasons not to be afraid. That’s good, it helps manage the fear. But some fears persist, they don’t go away easily with reasons or trying convince yourself. Feel and think about whatever stays for you, whatever continues to make you anxious. Turn it around in your mind and wonder where this comes from. What is the source of this fear? What are the worst outcomes that you fear? Are they reasonable or unreasonable? I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be afraid; I have my own fears. But often the unreasonable or unlikely to happen fears can be dismissed. It is the other fears that have real possibility of happening we must deal with. 

Often what we fear never happens, and we have used a lot of energy on anxiety that was a waste of time. Can you just let your fear go? Can you turn it over to God? If not, can you put it in an imaginary box in your mind, on an imaginary shelf and let it stay? I’m not kidding, this can be a powerful way to keep a fear from dominating your day-to-day thoughts. Just because a fear is real doesn’t mean you must think about it all the time. 

My prayer for you is peace. Peace that passes understanding. That means peace while upsetting things want to take away your peace. In the midst of the hard things, you can find peace deep inside.