Find Joy, Even in Bad Times

This meditation is to get in touch with the part of yourself that struggles to find joy when bad things have happened. 

Transcript

Being happy when the world seems to be falling down around us is hard, maybe impossible. Nothing is fun, everything is difficult or painful. We feel worried and sad. 

When life is tough it seems like nothing is pleasant. It's really hard to find something fun or joyful when the news is bad and the experiences in our own life are hard; it just seems like the only mood we can have is a a bad mood. One guy said, “I paid for this bad mood and I’m gonna take a few people down with me!” 

But you've heard the saying joy and happiness are not the same. Most of us struggle with this idea; we understand “happy” better than we get the idea of “joy.” Happy times are often dependent on circumstance. Joy is supposed to be different.

Recently there was a report about children in the Mideast territory of Gaza, which is currently under siege. Whatever you think about the war between Israel and Hamas, it is a fact that Gaza has been devastated by the battle. A doctor who has tended to the wounded there said one of the places he found hope was in the children. He said even those who were injured would find ways to play and run and laugh.

Children can find joy in horrible circumstances because they are better than adults at living in the moment. We adults often can't make the shift that quickly. Bad things happen to us, and it seems we must think them over and over again, and feel them and analyze them. That is a major barrier to finding any kind of pleasure after pain. When we live in the moment, we realize that pain and pleasure come in waves and rarely does either one stay around for very long. So, we can let go of the pain when it goes, and we can let go of the pleasure when it goes. There is a strange phenomenon that even when something has only happened for a short time, we tend to think of it as permanent, our new condition that we will live in forevermore. 

You stump your toe and wonder if you will ever walk right again. A financial setback creates images of living on the street with no home, destined to beg for what you need. Laryngitis takes your voice, and you imagine a life as a mute person unable to speak. Your child gets a bad grade or a reprimand for behavior and you picture them in poverty or prison. This sounds extreme but most everyone has gone to very negative thoughts at some point, picturing a temporary problem becoming a permanent condition.

Catastrophizing is too common, expecting a catastrophe from a small spark. But it is anxiety producing; it is not the path to living a contented life. So, would you like to do something about it? We can’t stop the bad news or tough things that happen sometimes in our lives. But we can do something about our reactions to them. 

Meditate on this with me. If you can safely do so, close your eyes. This meditation is to get in touch with the part of yourself that struggles to find joy when bad things have happened. First check your body from head to toe and notice any place you have tension. Relax those muscles as best you can. You might imagine your body being hollow, with space to breathe some light into each part of your body, from your toes and feet, through your legs, hips, abdomen, chest, back, shoulders, arms and neck and head. Scan your focus on each part of your body, imagining light or strong blood flow bringing oxygen, relaxing and nourishing every part. 

Now that you are as relaxed as possible in your circumstances, what are biggest problems? Allow yourself to think of your current worries, not in order to solve them but just to make a mental list. There is no advantage to you for your body to be tense as you try to work out your problems. And just like work breaks, weekends, or sabbaths, all of us need breaks from the work we have to do. Constant work, or constant tension does not solve problems, it only makes them worse. So, knowing that there are these problems your face, do your best to help your body stay relaxed. Thoughts about problems often cause physical tension, so I’m challenging you to think of the problem and keep your muscles relaxed. A relaxed mind and body are better able to make decisions. It is not necessary to do this perfectly. It is not honest to act like problems don't exist. It is also not realistic to hold onto a bad mood when joyful things interrupt the pain. Sometimes just after the destructive storm the birds are singing. Look for that. Keep your eyes open and allow yourself to see the joyful things in the midst of the problems. You might make a new list alongside the problems. What sources of joy do you have? Feel the joy, let yourself smile. It is not a betrayal of the seriousness of your challenges to allow joy in. You can do both; to grow healthy we must do both. 

The Bible character Job, in the intense suffering of losing everything, said, “He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.” (Job 8:21 NIV)