Turn Back or Push Back?

Do you find sudden change easy or hard? Are you headed, in some aspect of your life, in a way you just need to repent of and turn around? 
Or have there been times that you went along, and you should not have? You gave in to another’s will but should have spoken up.  Are you on a path that will make you resentful and unhappy if you don’t change? Maybe it is time to claim your right to an opinion and desires for direction over your life. 
Check out this episode for some inspiration to make wise choices about your life. 

Transcript

My dog Callie and I were outside for a few minutes one morning. We walked a certain distance, and I thought we’d gone far enough. I let her stop and sniff then I pulled Callie in reverse to go back the way we just came. She just comes with me, no complaint, looking around smelling and investigating. She just turned around and kept walking. She’s like this most of the time; it’s just smooth cooperation, Callie being with my wife or me, walking our way. She’s happy to be outside with us, enjoying whatever there is to see and smell.  

That day it jumped out at me, that going along with change as she did can be a great way of living. Change doesn’t have to be a battle. It can be acceptance of how things need to move. Sometimes turning around and going right back where you came from is the next right thing to do. Sometimes the one you are with needs to go back and you need to go with them. That makes me think of the word repentance because the literal meaning of the ancient word means to turn around, to reverse direction. Repentance makes people think of religion and admitting you did wrong You can repent of sin, you can repent of certain behaviors that are bad for you or others, but you can also repent of any direction you are going. You can repent of a certain project or route you have been taking; just turn around and go the other way. Emotions are not necessary, no beating yourself up is required, just go the other way instead. 

A good walking path can take you on a loop that brings you back where you started from. In a park near me there is a path called the limestone gorge. It goes down into the woods through some stony outcroppings and comes back to the road. It is beautiful, not too long but still a bit of a workout, first downhill, then back up. Walking this path, you never step in the same place twice, it’s a big loop. 

But other paths in the woods and life are one way. If you want to get back to where you started you will walk out a mile or several miles, get to the end, then turn around walking the whole path again back. It’s not a failure that you are going back over ground that you have already traveled; it’s just what you get to do. 

And the “end” or place you turn around may vary. Sometimes it is an obvious dead end; you cannot go any further from there. But sometimes we make our own ends. We run out of time, or we decide this direction no longer serves us so we must go back. Emotions are not necessary, no beating yourself up is required, just go the other way instead. It is okay to be sorry for the direction you have been going but sorrow is not energizing. At some point you have to just decide to go another way. Feeling bad for the way you have been going doesn’t make the needed change. 

As for Callie and cooperation. Well, she’s not always easy. She can be stubborn and stop in her tracks when she doesn’t want to go where I want to go. Sometimes she wants to go a different way. And sometimes I let her decide. This is the interplay of man and dog between us; she has shown over time she has opinions and I have recognized them. On a walk in our neighborhood, we have several ways we can go, though there are limits on the streets and options. But somedays I just start out in a way I want to go and while starting with me, she grinds to a halt, looks and me and wants a different route. It happens at intersections of streets and the entrance to the pond across from our house. One day she’s fine with going my way, another day she aint goin; she’s got her heart set on something different. 

Some of us need to be less cooperative at times; we need to decide which way we need to go and insist on it. Have you given in to others so much you don’t know how to start making your own choices? Easygoing is nice, but sometimes it takes us to a place where we don’t want to go and would not have had to go if we had spoken up. 
 Callie “digs in her heels,” which just looks like a dog straining at her leash pulling in a different direction than I want. Since I let her decide sometimes, it’s okay that she desires to move in a way I had not thought of. In relationships with other humans, we cultivate respect by insisting on our way sometimes and not just “going along to get along” with their wishes. This isn’t being stubborn for the sake of stubbornness; it’s being authentic and human. Nobody gets their way always in a relationship with another man or woman; if they do, they have a puppet, not a partner. 

Let’s meditate on this a few minutes. Get in a relaxed position and close your eyes if possible. Check your body and let go of any tension you feel in feet, legs, torso, arms, neck, or your head. Enjoy that relaxed state a moment. Now, remember times you made a sudden turnaround; you repented of a direction and went the opposite way. Maybe you chose this easily or with remorse for your old way?  That was in the past, how about now? Are you headed, in some aspect of your life, in a way you just need to repent of and turn around? Take some slow deep breaths. Now remember times that you went along, and you should not have. You gave in to another’s will but should have spoken up. Did you give in easily or with regret?  That was in the past, how about now? Are you in the middle of giving in right now? Are you doing something you need to stop and speak up about? Are you on a path that will make you resentful and unhappy if you don’t change? Maybe it is time to claim your right to an opinion and desires for direction over your life.

Ephesians 5:15 in the NIV says, “Be careful then how you live- not as unwise but as wise.” Elsewhere in scripture it says if we ask for wisdom, it will be given to us. We can use our wisdom and God given wisdom to choose how to carefully live. To turn around and go back when we need to, and to go against others’ desires when we need to. My prayer for you is to be mindfully aware of the direction of your choices and others’ choices.